What Title Do You Give to Your Computer “Expert?”
Computer Geek: My favorite. I am a geek and darn proud of it. To me, this is a way to describe someone who is fascinated by technology, knows that they **don’t** know everything there is to know about it, but is willing to dig deep to do research and find answers. Likes playing with toys. Usually don’t know how to tie their own shoes, and they usually wear clothes that don't match. Let's see now - where did I put that pocket protector????
Guru: Makes my skin crawl when I hear this. There is no such thing. No one person on this earth can possibly know everything there is to know about computers, and it makes me sick when people pretend to know everything there is to know about computers. Self proclaimed gurus are the worst – they are pompous and no fun to talk to. They may or may not like playing with toys – they would rather sit under an umbrella, slurping down Lattes at Starbucks and speak very loudly (so that all can hear) about their prowess with computers. Besides, I hate the word "guru" - I envision someone sitting on a flying carpet, wearing a turbin.
Consultant: This is the person that charges you lots of $$$ to give you vague answers, and then charges you even more $$$ to come back and tell you what the vagueness means.
Expert: There is no such thing. See “Guru” for more info. The main difference between an expert and a guru is that the expert has three cell phones and two Palm Pilots - at least they know enough to take lots of notes and keep them handy.
Programmer: Someone who is usually kept in a back room and not allowed to go out in public. They can tell you the value Pi to the two-thousandth decimal point from memory, but don’t know crap about how computers really work. Not only can they usually not tie their own shoes, but they usually can’t keep from clicking on email attachments with viruses. In their defense, they like playing with toys also, so they're not so bad.
Guru: Makes my skin crawl when I hear this. There is no such thing. No one person on this earth can possibly know everything there is to know about computers, and it makes me sick when people pretend to know everything there is to know about computers. Self proclaimed gurus are the worst – they are pompous and no fun to talk to. They may or may not like playing with toys – they would rather sit under an umbrella, slurping down Lattes at Starbucks and speak very loudly (so that all can hear) about their prowess with computers. Besides, I hate the word "guru" - I envision someone sitting on a flying carpet, wearing a turbin.
Consultant: This is the person that charges you lots of $$$ to give you vague answers, and then charges you even more $$$ to come back and tell you what the vagueness means.
Expert: There is no such thing. See “Guru” for more info. The main difference between an expert and a guru is that the expert has three cell phones and two Palm Pilots - at least they know enough to take lots of notes and keep them handy.
Programmer: Someone who is usually kept in a back room and not allowed to go out in public. They can tell you the value Pi to the two-thousandth decimal point from memory, but don’t know crap about how computers really work. Not only can they usually not tie their own shoes, but they usually can’t keep from clicking on email attachments with viruses. In their defense, they like playing with toys also, so they're not so bad.
1 comment:
Your "consultant" definition was dead on. If you'd like to further define it, you should mention that any kind of corporate consultant will also include huge and complicated (though entirely useless at the end of the day) Visio and/or PowerPoint presentations.
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